Dear Santa…
Please excuse us troubling you again, but we have another few cheeky requests for you.
Like many people at the moment, we are all struggling to keep track of what day it is. Barty Elf keeps insisting that every day is Saturday. He has taken to coming into work in his Red Arrows pyjamas, on the off-chance that he’s right and can go back to bed. While they are certainly snazzy, they are most definitely not appropriate for work.
I think Barty and all of my fellow elves would greatly benefit from an RAF Association 2021 pocket diary. They fit neatly into elf jacket pockets, are a very fetching blue and have all the information an elf could need. The special 16-page section at the front includes Association information such as key dates, contacts and branch information. Sadly there isn’t yet an elf branch, but we are working on it.
Percy Elf knows what day it is, but he is not so good with time. He has tried to claim that it’s an abstract concept, so should be allowed to turn up whenever he pleases. I think this is a rather pompous way of covering up the fact that he doesn’t know what the time is. Perhaps he would be a little better at timekeeping with a new watch. One with the RAF Association’s crest on it would help him focus on where he needs to be.
Val’s son, Ant Elf, has asked if you could please bring his mum a tin of delicate, yet malty RAF tea and some fruity strawberry conserve. She has missed going out for afternoon tea with her friends this year, so Ant is going to try and bake some scones to go with the tea and jam. Perhaps you could bring him a pair of Union Jack oven gloves, to be on the safe side.
We have been having a competition to come up with the best stocking filler ideas, but we are having trouble picking a winner. Santa, could you please look at the great selection we have and send all the good boys and girls in the RAF family something to make them smile this Christmas?
Everything bought from our online shop or by calling 0800 018 2361 helps our colleagues in the w-elf-are team support members of the RAF family when they need it most.
Thank you Santa. We know how busy you are at this time of year, so we will leave you out a little bottle of something to share with Rudolph and the other reindeers once you have finished delivering presents.
With best wishes for a safe and peaceful festive season,
Ian Elf and all the RAF Association elves
